


You are the reason

by TheDragonAndTheRaven (iamironman923)



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-30
Updated: 2018-10-30
Packaged: 2019-08-09 19:31:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16455947
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iamironman923/pseuds/TheDragonAndTheRaven
Summary: Was listening to "You are the reason" by Calum Scott ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ShZ978fBl6Y ) and it made me think of Vax'more.It has been nearly a year since the Raven Queen has taken her Champion back. Unable to say goodbye the first time, Vax comes back for a short visit to see Gilmore again.  **Rated M for smut, not that there is much**





	You are the reason

**Author's Note:**

  * For [I_Only_Need_Sam](https://archiveofourown.org/users/I_Only_Need_Sam/gifts).



Shaun shot up in bed, his heart racing. His body shaking as he reached forward, reaching out for a body that was not there. Laughing dryly he wiped the tears from his face with his palm.  
He had seen him there, in the flesh. His dark hair caught bits of light and the colorful beads glinted like rainbow stars in the night sky. His hands reached out, a smile plastered on that alabaster skin. “Shaun”, the voice had said, whispering into the air as Gilmore nearly ran to him. His arms embracing the thin man in a tight hug, his mouth pressing sloppy kisses across the other man's mouth, neck, anywhere it could reach. “Vax. Oh Vax’ildan. How I have missed you. You’re home. You’re really home!” He had exclaimed. Everything had felt so real, so genuine, and Gilmore relished it.  
As he wiped the tears from his eyes he sighed softly. ‘Oh, Vax….. You can't keep doing this to me….” He let out a soft sob, pressing the back of his hand against his open mouth as he attempted to stifle the noise. “I miss you… Oh, Gods, I miss you…” He sniffled before swallowing hard and shaking his head. ‘Pull yourself together now, Shaun.’ He thought to himself. He sighed and stared out his window at the snow falling heavily. A shiver ran down his spine and he turned around abruptly, his eyes growing wide as he stared at the ethereal figure that stood in his doorway.  
“V-Vax….” His voice trailed off as he moved from the bed and walked forward. “I-It...It can’t be. No. I-I'm dreaming again aren't I?” A smile formed across the other man’s face and he let out a soft laugh.  
“Oh...Shaun. I'm so sorry. I meant to come sooner but it just wasn’t the time. I am so sorry…” His voice was so soft and Gilmore nearly rushed forward, wrapping his arms around Vax’s middle as he pressed his face into the man’s neck. Sobs wracked his body as he stood there clinging to the half-elf, nosing into his neck and entangling his hands in his hair.  
“Vax… Y-You left and… and I thought I would never… I dont… I dont want to hurt anymore… I don't want to cry anymore… I just… I just wanted you back and here you are. You’re here….” He sobbed loudly, kissing Vax and shaking his head.  
It was Percy who had come to him nearly a year ago, after the fight with Vecna, when the Raven Queen had finally come to take her Champion. Bearing a heavy heart and a strong ale. They had talked late into the night about the fight, about Vox Machina, and mostly about Vax. He had told him how the Raven Queen had come to take him at the end of the fight and how he was limited on time before she had taken him. “He would have wanted to say goodbye...but she wouldn't let him stay. She had come for her Champion and she wasn't going to let him off the hook for a second time.” He had left, hugging Shaun tightly with the promise of being there any time he needed. When the door shut behind him he had thrown things, and cried, and screamed until his entire body burned. And then he picked himself up and brushed himself off and tried his best to move on. Not that it was ever easy, but he had a life to live and a business to run.  
“Percy told me. But… How. How are you here now” Shaun had calmed down, his hands still toying with Vax’s hair as he looked him over. He didn't look a day older. He still wore the same winged leather armor that glinted in the candle light. His hand brushed over the raven skull that was at his throat and Gilmore looked up into his face.  
“You were hurting, and I asked if… visiting hours… were allowed. I wanted to come back sooner but I had things to take care of. But I am here now. At Least… for tonight.” Vax sighed. He reached his hand up and ran his thumb across Gilmore’s cheek. Leaning into the touch a single tear ran down Shaun’s face and he smiled.  
“Well. Come in then.” He let out a soft laugh and shook his head, pulling away from Vax and leading him further inside. After the collapse of his original shop, he had come back to Emon and made his new home here. It was not super different from his old home, but he grinned as Vax looked around with awe. “The rebuild was easy, and business is as prosperous as ever. I even have a few new adventuring parties that I sponsor.” He moved over to the bed, sitting down and watching Vax.  
“I know. I've been watching.” Vax said with a soft look in his eyes as he moved closer to the bed. “I-I hope you don't mind…” He said sheepishly and Gilmore shook his head, his eyes glassy. Vax sat down next to Gilmore and placed his hand over the other man’s. “I have missed you, Shaun.”  
Shaun leaned in and kissed Vax deeply. Hands grasping at his armor. Slowly and methodically stripping layers off as Vax did the same to him. Their breath hitching in their throats as they licked into each other’s mouths. Gilmore’s hands found purchase on Vax’s hips as he lowered them both to the bed, Vax situating himself on Shaun’s lap. His chest heaved as he looked down and ran his palms against Gilmore’s chest. Shaun flushed and licked his lips, letting out a soft needy moan. “Please… Please I need you Vax.” The older man whimpered. Vax nodded and moved off of Gilmore’s lap, sliding the man's legs around his waist. One hand moved under neath Gilmore’s round ass to gently stroke at the pucker between his cheeks. Gilmore’s entire body lurched and he gave a breathy moan.  
“Shhhh, I’ve got you Shuan. I’m here now, I’ve got you.” Vax worked methodically, opening Gilmore up, taking his time, watching his every move. He had missed him like the day was long, had missed the way the firelight caught his eyes, had missed the way his dark skin looked under his own pale hands. Slowly Vax slid himself into Gilmore and let out a deep throaty moan. “Oh….Shaun….” Gilmore let out a laugh and rolled his head on the bed behind him.  
“Please, Vax, please don’t stop.” Gilmore rolled his hips, finding purchase on Vax’s cock as he bucked upwards. Vax pressing into him again and again. The half-elf leaned forward and peppered Gilmore’s neck and chest with feather light kisses and sucking deep purple bruises into his flesh. “I love you…” He breathed across Gilmore’s flesh over and over again. “I would climb… every mountain…. I would…. Swim every ocean… Just to be with you…”  
Shaun let out a loud cry as he came, spilling across his own stomach as Vax clung to him, filling Gilmore as they moved together. As Gilmore came down from the euphoria he moved to pull Vax to his chest. Kissing him over and over again, nosing into his neck. “I love you, Vax’ildan, my bird. I love you so much….” He held him tightly, Vax’s form shaking in his arms.  
He didn't pull back for a long time but when he finally did he had tears in his eyes. He cocked his head to the side and sniffled a bit. “C-can you...stay? Just for tonight?” His voice shook and he was almost certain that his answer would be no, but his heart was screaming in his chest. Vax smiled softly and nodded. “Just for tonight. But in the morning, just before sunrise, I have to go.” Shaun nodded solemnly but curled himself around Vax, laying them back down on the bed.  
He didn't want to sleep. He wanted to spend the entire night just talking with Vax, but he was tired, and almost as soon as his head hit the pillows he was asleep. Whispering softly as he fell asleep, “…. Please, come back.” Vax stayed awake for much of their time together. Tracing the older man’s face with his eyes. The new worry lines, the slope of his forehead, the way his face twitched into a smile any time Vax’s fingers traced over his cheek. When he finally did fall asleep he was pressed firmly into Gilmore’s arms, nosing into his neck as he took in his scent. A comfort he had forgotten he longed for.  
When sunrise came Vax felt a sharp pain in his chest. It was quick, like an icy blast, and he knew it was time to go. He pried himself from the larger man’s arms as he slid back into his armor. Glancing back at the bed and shaking his head. Gilmore la still, his arms holding himself now, a smile forming at the sides of his mouth, and Vax let a tear slip down his cheek before taking a step forward and moving to the door. 

When Gilmore woke he stared forward, unblinking, before the tears came. The poured from him as a sob wrecked his body and he curled into a ball on the mattress. He had been there, after all that time Vax had finally come back. Gilmore let himself cry for a long while before finally sitting up in bed and smoothing a hand over his face. He would be back. He had to keep telling himself that Vax would be back. He had to be. And Gilmore would have to be strong until then, for himself and for Vax.


End file.
